Why does work stress feel so lonely if we’re all feeling it?
And more importantly, what do we do about it?
Time management and stress management are universal challenges at work. Studies continue to show a decline in mental health and well-being in the workplace. In a 2023 Future Forum survey of 10,000 global workers, 42% of U.S. workers say they feel burnout.
Still, it can feel like we’re struggling in isolation.
That's because our default response is to try to fit our life, work style, and values into the workplace rather than thinking about how to shape the workplace to fit our lives.
Enter boundaries.
Parenting boundaries, personal boundaries, workplace boundaries – boundaries are all the rage lately.
Setting and maintaining boundaries at work brings many benefits, from limiting the risk of burnout to raising productivity. And anytime you set a boundary, it sets an example for others, which can slowly prompt a shift in workplace culture.
But being among the first in a workplace to draw some lines in the sand can feel intimidating. It’s easy to worry that you’ll look bad or upset people.
That’s why I advocate for setting boundaries as a team.
When we come together collectively—either as a department or a project team—we can create a healthier, more productive culture more quickly, all while boosting communication and connection among our colleagues.
Remember, in the absence of information, people invent their own stories.
If you start holding a boundary and those around you don't fully understand its reason, others can more easily invent negative narratives around your self-advocacy.
Let’s say you must leave by 4:30pm every Tuesday to help your aging parent get to a weekly physical therapy appointment. If you tell people the reason, you will likely be met with understanding. But if you just start declining meeting requests, you may unwittingly get a reputation for being difficult or less committed to your work.
When we communicate proactively and build boundaries together, we can create conditions that serve us better as individuals and as a group. As a bonus, we build psychological safety and connection, making it easier to be human at work!
Setting collective boundaries as a team doesn’t happen by accident. It requires intentional communication.
Think of collective boundary setting as the corporate version of a family meeting. The exercise allows everyone to feel seen and heard, all while promoting buy-in.
Schedule a set time to meet and make sure that everyone attending understands the purpose so that they can come prepared to answer questions like:
What are the conditions that will allow me to do my best work?
What micro-shifts at work would make a big positive impact on my life outside of work?
What are the challenges that we keep bumping up against as a team?
How can we understand one another better?
How can we support one another?
Give everyone a chance to communicate their needs and struggles. Then, determine some reasonable, clear boundaries you can set as a team so everyone feels they've achieved something positive.
Be sure to document your decisions and determine how to hold one another accountable.
If you're stuck getting started, think about everyday situations like:
Meeting Times
Think about what time of day you do your best creative group thinking and your best focused work. Beyond that, consider how meetings impact life outside of work—things like school drop-off, gym commitments, caregiving responsibilities, or even your lunchtime walk.
Email Response Times
Consider as a group: what is a reasonable timeframe for responding to a non-urgent email?
In teams that have repeatable workflows, you can get pretty specific. For instance, if a team member reviews contracts, they might establish a 3–5 day turnaround time unless there's an exception. Establishing this in advance can alleviate stress and prevent unnecessary follow-up.
Spontaneous Check-Ins
Creating norms around focused work time and interruptible “office hours” is especially important as offices navigate hybrid work arrangements and flexible schedules. How will team members signal when they are available for Slack messages or questions?
Vacation Time
Time off is crucial for preventing burnout. Determine how you will support one another so that vacation time can be a genuine opportunity for rest. On a healthy team, we should feel safe leaving our work in capable hands when we're off.
Remember, boundaries only work if you hold them.
If you depend on someone else to hold your boundary, it's not a boundary it's a request.
Take ownership of the boundaries you’ve established and practice sticking to them. If you have established as a team that meetings before 9am are a no-go, decline meeting requests that take place before 9am and remind everyone of the agreement you made as a group.
Of course, there will be exceptions and occasions where flexibility is required. If a one-time meeting with an international client has to occur before 9am, bending makes sense. But if a coworker wants to squeeze something in that could easily happen the next day at 10am, challenge yourself to hold the boundary.
Healthy teams communicate and healthy team members know their boundaries.
Proactively establishing boundaries around scheduling, response time, and other types of interaction can be a transformational exercise for your team.
Get ready to gather, reflect, find consensus, and then implement what you've established.