In this episode of the Impostor Syndrome Files, we talk about intentional leadership. Intentional leadership looks different to different people. To my guest this week, Juan Alvarado, a Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, U.S. Army veteran and leadership expert, intentional leadership is not about us as leaders. It’s about consistently asking ourselves, “Who does this person need me to be right now?” Whether that person is your employee, your spouse or your child, it’s about showing up in the way they need you to show up. Here Juan offers a model for how to be a more intentional leader at work, at home and beyond.
About My Guest
Juan is a Gallup Certified Strengths Coach and a revered leadership expert, drawing from his extensive experience as a U.S. Army war veteran who trained thousands of soldiers in high-pressure scenarios. Beyond his military service, Juan travels and speaks to leadership teams and their staff to enhance team leadership and their staff engagement, yielding a heightened staff understanding of their value and the importance of their intentional engagement with each other. Juan uses his trials fighting through PTSD and shares how he has mended and strengthened his marriage, his relationship with his boys, and how he now teaches intentional leadership to people across the world. His impactful work has earned him recognition on FOX, NBC, and CBS for cultivating strength-based leaders and fostering a positive workplace culture. See why people say Juan is the most relatable and motivational person they have heard speak.
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Connect with Juan:
Website: www.weraizethebar.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rtb-juan/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raizethebarceo/
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Transcript
Kim Meninger
Welcome, Juan, it's very nice to meet you. I'm excited to have this conversation with you. I'd love to start by inviting you to introduce yourself.
Juan Alvarado
Yeah, so my name is Juan Alvarado. I am currently in central California, Visalia to be exact. And it's a, it's a, you know, working kind of area where we are the fruit capital of the world. So a lot of fruit and vegetables come from, come from a lot of stone fruits. And so there's always plenty of fruit in our house because of family and neighbors and stuff that bring that in. I'm prior military. So I have, I was in the United States Army for a little over 10 years. Operation Iraqi Freedom. So I'm a US Army War veteran and was a police officer for a couple years before I decided to leave and work in the nonprofit space, where I was a director of programs for a number of years, where I just got a lot of my experience in working with staff and working on retention, working on keeping the keeping staff happy well-being, and just coaching staff to become better. And now I travel all over the place who just came back from Dallas and from Pennsylvania and from Newark, New Jersey to help organizations with their leadership, intentional leadership.
Kim Meninger
Well, first of all, thank you for your service. And, and I am really eager to hear more about how your experience in the army influences how you see the world today and leadership in particular, like how do you feel like that has had a big effect on your view of, you know, sort of the, the workplace and what we should be thinking about in terms of leadership?
Juan Alvarado
It has its pros and cons, right? As I'll start with the cons first. Yes, there's a hierarchy, right? So you have you know, your, your officers, your noncommissioned officers. So depending on where you are in the totem pole, it's yes or no, sir, yes or no certain and you, you do what you're supposed to do. If you are higher ranking, right, you give those, those directions or orders to those people that are lesser ranking, and you expect them your expectation is that they follow orders. So there was a lot of orders that I was given. And I didn't agree with, you wanted to say something you wanted to give your, you know, your two cents or your expertise in that, and is basically shut up and do it right. And so I know, you know, as far as the concept of things, I knew that I didn't like that, as being the lower ranking person, even though I brought I knew that I brought a lot of value. And so it taught me what not to do in the workplace. Giving, giving employees a voice, right? I think a lot of times, we have people that are in, in leadership positions that used to be in those positions. And they've been so far removed, and there's been so much time that they forgot what it was like to be there, they forgot that. And here's the other thing that time, time has changed, job descriptions have changed, or is the one that I absolutely love catching sarcasm, is when positions when people leave positions, and then organizations say, we're not going to fill that position, we're just going to disseminate that, that roll over three or four other people and now you're doing more. And so when the boss was in your role, at one point, the work was a lot less. So now I'm getting more work less same pay. And it's just different. And so you've been so far removed, you forget what the job is like. So understanding that, like, I just want to give my employees a voice in that sense. The pro side of things as an employee, as far as the military's concern is, hey, when you get an order, do it, like knock it out, be the best that you can do at it. Like, yeah, you kind of want to talk back in that sense, but just get it done, like out of every one that they could have picked. They chose you probably because you're doing a good job. And it's funny in the workplace. Sometimes you get quote-unquote, punished, right? If you're really good worker, you get more work, you know, more working, but that's part of if you want to move up, there's some sacrifice that has to take place. And so you button up and you, you get it done. I like to see it as you are the perfect person for somebody's imperfect situation. Right. So they could have gone to anybody else. But they've come to you learn how to steward your position, and do it really well.
Kim Meninger
Hmm. I love that perspective. And, and I wonder, because I think there are a lot of people who are almost overly cooperative because they're either rule followers by nature or because they don't want to be the person that's perceived as not being cooperative or, you know, what that might do to their reputation and their advancement opportunities. Where do you see the line and I think this comes back to giving employees a voice between taking advantage of that opportunity and seeing what you're describing as sort of the, you know, the positive feedback that comes with that, like we trust you, so we want to give you this opportunity, and not being taken advantage of. But like when you talk about something like getting more work for the same amount of pay, how do you know when it's time to say maybe it's time for a promotion or…?
Juan Alvarado
Right. Right. So we can promote people different ways, right? There's a promotion with the job title, which probably comes with pay and benefits and other perks, right? But there's also there's also a raise a pay raise, and just here's your position, right? We're not going to give you we're not going to give you necessarily the job title switch, but we're, we need to pay the person proper dues, right, we need to pay them properly. But I had a podcast episode and I think it's a it's a YouTube video to about how do you know when you deserve a pay raise? And I tell people that they need to have I know it's gonna sound like a little narcissistic, but like, you need to have a I love me book. And everything that you do, you write down, so extra projects extra time, so that when it comes time to say, hey, you know what, I think it's time for a promotion. And you get to ask a question, well, why do you think you deserve a promotion, guess what, I have the I love the book right here and says, Hey, since so and so left, I picked up their position, they were getting paid whatever, $100,000 I get paid 75, I'm doing three-quarters of their job. I put in, you know, two more hours a week, which comes out to so many more hours a month recorder. And this is how much I've worked for the same pay compared to what this looked like last year. And then it's just all those accolades, I brought, you know, staff retention up, I brought customer service up, we've helped train this person and you have all that data for them. You almost give them every right to say, okay, so I would say that, you know, what's the same Akash I'm going to mess this up. And it's on a rap song too, because they make fun of George Bush for saying it wrong. Fool me once, you know, shame on me, fool me twice Shame on you, or, or vice versa, right? So it's just like, hey, you know, what if they say no, cool, but I'm not gonna let it happen again. Like, I'll continue to do the work, I'll continue to be amazing, I'll still get those accolades. Cuz you know what I'm doing, I'm also I'm also creating my, my resume, right? I'm creating a bigger, tougher, stronger resume that someone's going to absolutely love. And so I really feel that people in the workplace need to be appreciated, not just tolerated. So my boss, one time told me, you know, the best way to get a raise is to go look for another job, because either you're gonna get another job and get the pay raise, or your, or your current employer is gonna say, we can't afford to lose this person. Let's give them the raise. Right? So you're in a pretty much a win-win situation at that point. But your boundaries have to come into play. Standards and beliefs have to come into play. And I think that's going to be different for everybody. I think, though, as a leader, shame on you, if you're taking advantage of, of employees, because you know, that they're just going to be a yes person. You know, we have to remember, is it the gentleman who wrote this seven habits of highly effective people is, it says, like, we have to, I think it's the end that says we have to get on, we have to get the right people on the, on the bus. But the right people aren't, aren't going to be yes, people, the right people are going to be people who push your thought process who pushed back a little bit, because if you and I are the same, and we think the same, and there's no reason for one of us. And if I'm in charge, guess what, I ain't going anywhere, you're, you're the one that go. So I, you definitely want people that push the envelope in a respectful way, I can still honor you, by being honest with you. And I think that's missing from the workplace I think is missing from families and relationships between husband and wife, or, or, or parents to their kids is you can still honor one another. By being honest with one another. I think a lot of times we sweep stuff under the rug, both in the home and in the workplace, where if we were just able to have that open communication of be, Hey, be honest with me, it might hurt a little bit and call them courageous conversations. It's gonna be courageous for me to say it, but it's also going to be courageous for you to hear and understand. And a lot of people say, Well, I just need to get it off my chest. Well, then you have to be responsible enough to make sure that they're able to receive it in theirs.
Kim Meninger
Yeah, there's so much greatness in everything that you said, I want to start taking it apart a little bit because I think what you're talking about in terms of the courageous conversations is really important. Because a lot of times we think that someone else can read our mind, right? And we, you know, I often say to people, especially if you are somebody who's really good at getting your work done, and you are somebody who tends to say yes, that if you always do your work with a smile, your manager has no reason to believe that there's a problem. They have no, they have no idea that you may be struggling with bandwidth issues or that this isn't working for you in some way. So It's incumbent upon you to have the conversation with your manager to let them know and like you're saying in a respectful way, that this isn't working for you the way it's working right now and to be able to say, here's what I'd like to see more of or less out.
Juan Alvarado
Yeah, there's, there's a, there's a, and I'm a huge, I'll clean it up for the podcast. I'm a smart aleck at times. And there's times where I would be a smart aleck to my boss when they would give me more stuff, but in a respectful way, but he knew kind of what I was doing is like, Hey, can you do all this? And I was like I can. But I want to make sure that we have you and I have clear communication of when you want it done. And what does success look like for you? So let me tell you what I have on my, on my agenda. I'm doing this project, this project this thing, this other thing that you told me to do last week, this and this, where do you see that fitting in here? And then where do you when do you want it done? And there's been a couple of times where he says, oh, shoot, I didn't know that you had all that on your plate? Forget it. I'll find somebody else to do it. Yeah, I'm being a smart aleck in do you see my schedule? Like you gave me all this stuff? Where do you want me to do this, but I did it in a respectful way to say, hey, I'll do it. But where do you see it fit? And when do you need it done? And what does success look like to you? Or what is complete or finished look like to you? So that I can give you the best result? And you might say do it here? I need it done in you know, three hours. Cool. Then. then if there's any backlash on the other things that are quote-unquote late? Well, cool, that was your decision, not mine. Right. And so we're holding people accountable, but I can still, I can still be again, the honor them by being honest. Or I can say do you want my Do you want to the truth and honesty here? Can I be honest with you? It's I'm already at wit's end with this. And I don't know, if I can take another project, sometimes your, your no’s actually allow you to have really good yeses later on. So, you know, is it okay to say no, because I do have all this. I mean, there's different ways to play that. But, but yeah, you have to have those conversations where you're honest because then they just become easier as time comes on. Because now if I've planted the seed, now, my boss is gonna say, hey, what do you have on your plate? Because I have a project, I think you're the best person for it but I don't want to overload you. Now they're coming in with, with a pre-conversation as opposed to, they’re asking now before they were telling you.
Kim Meninger
Yeah, and I appreciate that you gave a variety of different ways of having that conversation because everyone's personality is different. And some people are, you know, can't necessarily see themselves in, in every, every example that you gave. But having that conversation is so important from an expectation setting perspective too because to your point, your manager is just going about trying to stay above water in their own job, they don't necessarily remember all of the things that they've put on your plate, or the ways in which you've interpreted priorities. And so it gives you both a chance to reset and align on what those expectation looks like. And I also want to comment on the I Love Me book because I think that's a really big part of the conversation when it comes to confidence. Because, you know, you're talking about it from a very practical standpoint, which I often emphasize as well, it is so great to have that information when you have to update your resume when you have to, you know, ask for a promotion or do your performance review. But I also think that it can be helpful because some of the reasons why we don't have some of the conversations that you and I are talking about is because we doubt ourselves. And we don't think that we're worthy of having that conversation, or we feel this constant need to prove ourselves that oh, if I told my manager, I have too much work, it's going to look like I'm not doing my job well enough. And I think keeping something like this, I love me book is a great way to remind yourself of how much work you're doing too. And it sort of trains your brain to pay attention to all the positives that you're doing.
Juan Alvarado
Yeah. And it's also, it's also good too if you get like those resume writers or somebody who can help you reword some of those things in your book, I think it's helpful. Like, I just have a friend, I have a friend right now who he's a speaker, friend of mine, we kind of both kind of motivate each other on new gigs that we have speaking or traveling. And I said, Hey, man, where are you at today? And he says, I'm at a, I forget what airport he was in, but he's getting ready to go speak in Canada. And he's like, now I can put on my website that I speak in the United States and in Canada. I go, nope. Don't do that. You can say that you're an international speaker. Right? That's it's way differently than I've, I've spoken in Canada and United States. No, I'm an international speaker. You're not lying. It's very honest. Right? So same thing with, with me I was looking at how many conferences I've been to how many people were not audience. When I was in deployed, when I was deployed, how many how many soldiers I trained how many coalition soldiers I trained. And it got I started counting the numbers. I'm like, man, there's, there's, there's a about 100,000, maybe even more, and on our bio, you know, we've changed it to has trained, has trained individual hundreds of 1000s of individuals. Like instead of giving an exact an exact number, like those are things that hundreds of hours behind this or trained multiple, multiple 1000s of people like depending on what where you are in your I love me book, you can change some of that stuff. And then when you read that you're like, hey, I did that, like that skewed, it's way different than, you know, than just saying I trained multiple people, no, you trade, you train multiple dozens of people or hundreds of people, depending on your numbers or whatever. So it definitely helps with the confidence in that you, you walk a little different, you hang your head a little bit differently. When you get those, those words a little bit, and then it looks really good on your resume too. You're not lying. It's just, it's you're describing it in a better way than you would have normally done it.
Kim Meniger
Yeah, I love that you bring in the value of an outside perspective, too, because I think we're always, you know, much more humble and less likely to take full ownership of that if we're doing it on our own. What else are you talking to leaders about these days? What other themes are coming up in your work?
Juan Alvarado
It's starting to fade away because I think it was a buzzword at first I think it's still happening regularly is burnout is one and then and then I teach a lot on intentionality that we need to be intentional with, with our leadership. I think we could just go through the mundane of the regular, you know, Groundhog's Day, we go to work, we have a project where we have people and we, we go back home, and we do the same thing. But intentionality, and burnout kind of go hand in hand, that if we're intentional than it seems, then we know that we're doing a job well done. And it's intentional in our work. We're growing people, we're moving organization, we're moving people. But when it comes into play with the wellness pieces, if I'm motivating people and moving people down to the, the journey of their work, and they're getting somewhere then they feel accomplished, I feel accomplished and burnout doesn't sit in, but then the intentionality, intentionality also comes in at home as well. Right? So a lot of organizations will come and bring in wellness people and note no disrespect to them. But understand the difference between wellness and well-being wellness is usually in one in one spot. You have some other stuff that people do, okay, let's breathe in and breathe out and clear your mind. And you're like, cool, I can do that all we want. But Jenny and accounting still hasn't given me her report yet. And it's, it's past due. And she's not talking to me. And they're supposed to do this. But yet they it's like it's not, it's not helping, right? So then how do we communicate with one another. And so I'm a big believer in Gallup strengths. So if you guys are familiar with Gallup and Gallup polls, they have an assessment, kind of like Myers Briggs, or the disc assessments or things like that, to me, I've taken all those assessments, I've become trainers in some of those. But I became a certified trainer in gallop strengths and to me, blows the doors off of every other quote unquote, assessment because you learn how to work with people in their strengths, and then work in yourself and those strengths. And it goes into burnout and things like that. But going back to the wellness piece is wellness isn't one area, but well-being is is holistically like it's your it's the being not just wellness, its well-being the being as well. And so, in Gallup, we talked about the five essentials of well-being so I will talk to people about career, well-being, financial well-being social well-being, physical well-being and community well-being. And if you can start to align those five, and you know how to grade yourself, if you will, then you can start saying, Oh, I'm starting to get on the fence of burnout. How do I address those things? And it goes back to being intentional. What am I doing at work? What am I doing in my fitness? What am I doing and, and so then I get into goal setting of not only the organization with the but you as a person. And this is where burnout and intentionality kind of comes into play is where the link comes is we give our work the best. But then we come home and we give our families the rest. Right? And so then how intentional are you when you come home? And so I talked to people with intentionality piece I just came back from doing a keynote on this I'll give you some, some quick tips on this is we have to, we have to change the hat that we wear if you're a CEO or vice president, president or whatever you are at work and you come home your, your, your, your kids or your spouse don't need who you are at work they need mom, they need wife, they need spouse they need husband and need father, right. So how do I change the hat that I wear? So ah, how do I handle what I hear? A how do I give attention with the right attitude? And then tea? How do I transform the temperature? If I come home and my kids are stressed because they took a test and they failed it? Who do they need me to be not? Who am I? Who do my kids need me to be? Who's my wife needed me to be? They go into a boardroom or a one-on-one meeting with the staff and they're afraid that they're gonna get written up or a verbal warning? How do I how do I handle that? How do I handle not only what I hear with my ears, but how do I handle what I hear with my eyes and people like hear with your eyes? Yeah, if I see somebody crying, they might be sad, right? However, if I see a woman crying, but yet I go to go around the corner and I see a gentleman on his knee with a box and there's a ring inside. Oh, her tears are not sadness. Her tears are of joy. So you can still kind of hear with your eyes in that sense. So if I see a staff that looks worried, how do I handle what I hear? I know I then give attention with the right attitude. And then how do I transform the temperature through sad how I make them happy or understood? So how do I do that? And so here's the key part in this, we have to be intentional with the hats that we wear. Because when we fill our gaps with intention, if we don't fill our gaps with intention, then by default, it's going to place us in tension. And that's where the stress comes in. Because we're not intentional.
Kim Meninger
And the I think you're absolutely right about the intentionality piece. And I love that you link it to burnout and some of these other challenges that we face as well. Because we are so reactive as humans, we get very, we just become creatures of habit, and we just go through the motions of our day, and we lose the opportunity to recognize where we can switch those hats or, or switch those roles in important ways. And I wonder if you have thoughts on? How do you keep it top of mind because it's so easy to get sucked into the emotion, it's so easy to get sucked into the overwhelm of what we're doing? Are there ways in which you have found it easy to just remind yourself like, pause, like just slow down and pay attention?
Juan Alvarado
It's not about you. Right? Your leadership is a gift. It's your leadership is not for you. And that's in every aspect as a parent, as a spouse. You being married is not about me, myself, being married is not about me being one. It's about me being a husband, right? Having kids. It's not about me, it's about how do I be? How do I how am I a father to them? Who do they need me to be right? And so a doctor is not a doctor for himself or herself. They're a doctor for those patients on mechanics, not a mechanic for themselves or a mechanic to make sure that they give confidence to the person who's driving the vehicle, Hey, your car is fixed, and get you from point A to point B, a teacher is not a teacher for themselves are teachers so they can teach students so your ability to be a leader is not for you. It's for other people, you are the gift. So, so then if I have that understanding, then why am I not living for others, like outside of me, like the world is bigger than you your family is bigger than you what I mean by that is, God forbid something was to happen to either one of us. Everyone would be sad. For a while family and friends, whatever at work, in one week, your job is reposted. Right write in, in two or three months, the sadness has gone away, there's still an empty void, but your family will move on. Like, if you understand that, I want to have an impact, like I want to steward my position, I want to be the steward of my family. And because I think at night, kids, those of us have children, they pray, like, I just want to have a good relationship with my dad or my mom. So if that's the quote-unquote, prayer that these kids or their kids are having, or you and your spouse is like, I just want to have a better relationship with my spouse, and you're like something is missing? What's missing? Like, if you get those three things, you're in the middle, right? How do I steward the position as a father, how do I steward the position as a husband? How do I steward the position to be a leader of myself? Well, then, you know, I've kind of feel like God says, like, here, I have the, I have the perfect situation for you, your kid is going to come up to you with an issue and a problem, go be a father, your wife or your spouse is going to come to you with a certain situation, I just need you to listen. Right? You need to. So if we could steward that position, or steward that, that role, again, if we understand that the world is bigger than us, and I start to live for others, and not put myself first, right? And I think that's the first part of leadership is there's different functions of leadership. There's ones where we lead in the front, we set the example. And then there's servant leadership, where we, we serve one another where we kind of push or motivate from the back. So like, in the military, even with my own family. You know, usually dads first dad gets the biggest piece of chicken, right, dad gets like, Dad gets it, I get that part. But there's times where like my boys today, we just came back from the gym and the doctor the doctor's appointment, and got them breakfast, and they're like, God, have you eaten? I'm like you first. Like their growth is better is more important than my growth right now. Right? So like, you're in the growth mode, you're 16 and 14 years old, and like, Go, go grow, right? But even in the military, you eat first and then I eat last. Right? So it's servant leadership, we put our people before us. And so if I can have both thought process, when do I lead by example, but then when do I come to the back and motivate and serve? The more often it's done, the easier it is. It was it's not easy. I'll tell you that. It's not easy. And it gets the best of me sometimes, but the more often I think about it, the more in the forefront that it is. And so I have to like these glasses if I'm not wearing my glasses, it's hard to see. We need to have that filter of other people, other people other people how, how, before I walk into this room, boardroom meeting room, bedroom, living room, What do I need to wear? And how do I and what hat do they? Or do they need me to wear, not the hat that I want to wear. titles aren't not aren't, aren't going to do anything. Your kids aren't going to remember that you are CEOs, whatever they're going to remember the relationship that you have with them. You're the people who say thank you, all the ex-employees or people who move up there. They're not going to remember how many hours you work, but they're going to remember the things that you did for them or those, those conversations. Right? And so how do I just How do I invest people? How can I protect you? If I'm not willing to connect with you? Right? How can I correct you? If I'm not willing to connect with you? How can I protect you if I'm not willing to connect with you? So how do I make that connection piece first, and relationships are built on a on a dialogue, not a monologue. So always have that communication with, with people at home and people when you start with your staff?
Kim Meninger
Well, that actually brings me to a followup question because one of the things I'm thinking about as you're talking is, gosh, if only more of us were willing to do the work that you're describing, we'd have a very different world different, different families. Right. And I think that a lot of people and I'm thinking, in particular the workplace right now, I have been burned by managers and leaders who have not shown up in the way that you're describing. And so sometimes we just kind of go into environments expecting a certain type of leader and not necessarily being open to the possibility that there might be a different approach. So do you recommend that as part of the approach that you're describing, talking more explicitly about who you strive to be in relationship to people? And I guess I mean, you know, there's certain, obviously your actions are going to speak loudest, but do you encourage people to actually give voice to the intentionality that you're talking about so that people know what you're trying to do?
Juan Alvarado
Yeah, so I try to teach people the laws of the three expectations, right? So expectations that I have of myself expectations that I have a view and an expectation that you have of me. And if I can do that, if we can do that both ways, then we have clear communication. You said something that pushed my thought process a little bit, you said, talk about the person who we want to be. And then you have statements like fake it till you make it like no, just be authentic, right? Hey, I'm having trouble being honest. Like I sweep stuff under the rug. And I don't want conflict. Well, how do you know that? Again, I'll go right back to Gallup strengths. There's people who have the strength of like, my wife has positivity in harmony and empathy, and her top five of her strengths. Every strength has a blind spot. So positivity in harmony, Harmony basically says, I avoid conflict, right? Because I'd rather have harmony. And then positivity says, Because I avoid conflict, I'll just sweep it on the rug, I won't talk about it, but it still affects me. And then empathy, you know, I feel for other people and, and feel for myself. And so sometimes if I feel for myself, right, I think a lot of people get some of that that word empathy, wrong a little bit. It's like, how do you, you can empathize with somebody, but it's how do I, how do I work my feelings, right? So then if I, so if I feel burnt out, if I feel felt hurt, but then I also have positive and harmony, then I'm going to sweep that under the rug, I'm not gonna talk about my feelings. So if you can be open and honest in your strengths, or if we know strengths, and I'm your boss, and I said, Hey, you, you look like you're down. I know that you have positivity and harmony, and you're probably not talking about things. So let's open up a little bit, let's talk about those things that you don't want to talk about, again, courageous conversations is gonna be hard for you to, to talk about, I get it. And it's gonna be hard for me to listen, but we can't have a relationship without the dialogue piece. And so I usually do the talking, I want you to talk, cancel my meetings, turn my phone off, don't clock watch, put your phone away, and just say, hey, this time is for you. So yes, definitely opening up the conversation and having that culture. But here's the other thing, too. If, if there's ever retaliation or anything that happens, and that person is never going to want to talk again. So how do we how do we keep that, that culture open to say, hey, in these in these walls, right, in these four walls, it's, it's feedback, feedback should be. So what I'm looking for feedback should be factual. Right? Feedback should not be opinionated. Right? I hate using the word constructive criticism, right, constructive criticism, right, build you up, and then bring you all the way down. But if we're giving feedback, and it's factual, right then and it's not like, well, this is the way I feel not what, what is it? Right. What is it? You said something it was the tone was, was not appropriate for the workplace, whatever it is, right? And so are you calling me out in front of people? So one of the things that I teach is, let's not call people out, let's call people up, let's call the situation out, but call people and elevate the people when we call out people, then it, it excludes them, but when we call up people and elevate them, so how do we have these conversations where elevates one another? But yeah, having those conversations regularly, right, we have to have boundaries and part of that boundaries in the workplace shouldn't be, hey, we need to have conversations often and regularly so we can build that culture of communication. But again, I go back to strengths of if I understand your strengths, or you have strengths, and I have strengths, and I want to get to know you better, I'm going to read into your strengths, how can I fill up your cup? How do I make you happy, and vice versa, it really opens up the conversation piece, but the relationship in the workplace when we know each other's strengths.
Kim Meninger
Yeah, and I just love that you're talking about in what I consider the sort of the meta-level of relationship or not just the conversation about the topic at hand, but what you're describing as not just knowing someone else's strengths, but actually naming them because I often joke that, you know, as humans, we're wired to want to make sense of our environments. But if there's information missing, we will make it up. And we will often make it up in ways that are not favorable to ourselves or others, right, that He must be mad at me or what a jerk when we actually don't know what's going on. And so to be able to say, very clearly to somebody, I know that you value this, or I know that your strengths lie here. So this might be challenging for you, or because I know this, that I want to have this conversation with you. That goes a long way. And not just building connection, but also building trust. And now we're not making up stories about what each other is trying to do. And I think that one of the things that I hear a lot is, oh, I don't have time for that, right, or we don't work in the same building anymore. So we can't do that on Zoom. And I think that's a cop-out. I think it's, it's uncomfortable. Yeah, exactly. It's uncomfortable, maybe different from what we've done in the past. But we can do this, wherever we are.
Juan Alvarado
Right. Yeah, I think it makes a lot more sense. And it kind of pierces your heart a little bit more, if you funnel down what you're actually saying, right? I don't have time for that. Okay, so tell that person that you don't have time, and you don't want to make time to help understand them or have growth or, you know, just I'll leave it there, just understand them. I know you have an issue and a problem, we probably could Zoom that means I would have to sacrifice but I'm not willing to sacrifice for you. Because I don't have enough time. Essentially, you're saying you're not worth it. So go tell them, their spouse and their kids, hey, I would work with your mom or your dad, but they're not worth it. That's exactly what you're saying. If you dumb it down all the way down. That's exactly what you're saying. I had just did a training with a school district. And they said, what part of your job do you love? What do you hate? And, and so the reason why we're doing this is to understand why you don't like this certain part of my job, or why I love this other part of my job and we connected strengths with it. Do you see why you love this? And I'm like, Oh my gosh, this is I understand why I love this part of my job. Because it's my strengths, well, then you see this part of your job that you don't like, because it doesn't feel those cups up. And they're like, oh, my gosh, I had this aha moment. But then it's then we have to say, Okay, if you don't like this part of your job, how then do you almost forced your strengths to look at this in a different light, the intentionality piece. And so it's funny that the thing that they were talking about, it's exactly what we're talking about now. It's basically it's an assessment for three, four and five year old kids in their development space, it's youth development. So they have to do these assessments. But it's a long process, they say, it takes about an hour and a half. So 90 minutes to do this assessment with a child to see where they are, and then get the plan together so that they know what to do next to see this jump in their, in their development. And then like, it's just a lot of work. And it's just like, Do we really have to do this, it's like, tell that to their parents, I dare you go to their parents and say, hey, I want to help your kid develop. But it's just too long. It's just too much work. And I don't feel like doing it. You're basically what you're saying is your kid is not worthy of my strength and my work ethic that I get paid to do I get paid to do this. And I don't want to do I don't. And you would never do that. And they're like, Oh my gosh. And I said, let's look at your strengths. Your Strengths are relator deep, meaningful relationships, or empathy or developer, you'd like to see the growth. So understand that, yes, you have to do this long process. But what's the outcome? Who benefits at the end this child, and when the child sees that they're moving up, or their parents see what is, what is the what's the positivity there, and they're like, I didn't even think it through. I think this happens to different times in the workplace. employees don't understand the value of what they bring to the table. So they don't understand the value of themselves. And they don't understand the value of the end product and how impactful that is. I think the other thing is bosses don't understand the full complexity of an employee's job and what they actually do. So going back to people leaving and things like that Gallup says 51% of people who leave the workplace leave because of their management. So if they do 1% of the people are leaving because of the leadership. The other piece was I think it was like 47% 47 49% of employers or bosses don't understand the workload of The employee, they don't even know what employees are doing. So then if they don't know what they're doing, then there's no recognition. And so it all goes back to the intentionality piece, the communication piece. But really breaking it down on. This is how I impact my workplace. This is how I impact my organization. This is where we're moving. This is my, my, the way I not paid for by the way, I helped my organization move from point A to point B, and I can see the value in the work that I'm doing. And I think that's missing in the workplace. And I think it's also missing in the, in the home as well.
Kim Meninger
Yeah. Oh my gosh, I think that's such a great way to paint that picture. Because what I'm hearing you say is there's this, there's this big gap, right? And the best way to fill it is through the intentionality and communication that you're describing. I could talk to you all day long. No, I really like this conversation. But for others who want more of you, where can they find you?
Juan Alvarado
Yeah, so I'm on LinkedIn, RTB dash, dash Juan. RTB stands for raise the bar. That's the kind of like my leadership company, so RTB dash Juan on LinkedIn. We raised the bar CEO on Instagram, and the same thing on Facebook as well, and then raise the bar on YouTube as well. And then I have a podcast called the relevant development podcast. So we just tried to make sure that development is relevant for your personal and professional growth. But yeah, those are the all the different platforms you can find me on.
Kim Meninger
Perfect. I'll make sure all those links are in the show notes as well. Thank you so much. I think that you have shined a light on a really important kind of gap or missing piece of I think not just the workplace, but our everyday lives. And I just want to encourage everybody to really think about what's one small step you can start to take in that direction of intentionality because it's it's better for us. It's better for everybody when we do
Juan Alvarado
Yeah, for sure. And I'll end with just that the same thing that I said earlier. We have to feel our gaps with intention, or else is going to place us in tension. So if you're feeling stressed or you're feeling the tension, it's probably because you've become complacent in an area and how do we get rid of complacency? Specifically with intentionality.
Kim Meninger
That's such a great wrap-up. Thank you so much.
Juan Alvarado
Thank you. I appreciate you.